Today I have been married for 25 years. It’s a cause for celebration but also for contemplation. How did I get so lucky? I did not expect to marry at age 24 and maybe not at all. And then I encountered this Man and I knew right away.


Marriage is about compromise.

What exactly did I know? Well, the Man was unlike anyone else I had ever met. Very unexpected. I never thought I would know anyone who shared so many interests with me, yet was so utterly different. The knowledge was “This is right, this is good.” How did I know? To this day I think it was because he smelled right.

Marriage is surprising, in a good way.

Conventional wisdom has it that there’s something wrong with couples who never fight. Don’t believe it. Our roughest day was the wedding day. (NB to engaged couples: the wedding will be your first lesson in compromise.)


Marriage is about hard work. In this particular case, HIS.

There are some who say that marriage is only a piece of paper. I don’t agree. It is a publicly made commitment to another person, for life.


Marriage is about getting through the sad times, together…


And about the pleasures of companionship…

daily life

And about the mundane flow of passing time.

All marriages go through phases, because people change over time. My marriage has aged well. Maybe we can both take credit for that, or maybe we have just been lucky.

Marriage is about the comforts of home…


And about adventures.


Marriage can inspire wonder…

And delight.

After you’ve been married for a long time, you know your partner very well, and yet there is always more to learn. A long marriage creates a level of trust that is impossible with any other person. There’s no shortcut to that.


Marriage is about learning to trust…


Having courage…


Being able to give and receive love…


And living content in the moment.

It’s good if your partner is also your best friend, but there also has to be romance. For me anyway. I’m sure there are many formulas for success.


Marriage is about laughter…


About generosity…


And tenderness.

The Long Suffering Husband asked me what I wanted for our anniversary. I’ll take another 25 years.

The LSH.


Did I mention that marriage is about compromise?